“Last Christmas”: the Boris Johnson Christmas party karaoke version

Last Christmas, I kept you apart
But the very next day, I partied away
This year, to save donors from tears
I’ll give them all something special

Once bitten and twice shy
That what they say, but it doesn’t apply
Sleaze and corruption, so many stories
But still you will keep on voting for Tories

“Forgive me, forgive me” you all heard me say
When my Peppa Pig speech had gone all astray
Yet still you can’t see what a fool I have been
At the next election, I’ll fool you again

Last Christmas, I kept you apart
But the very next day, I partied away
This year, to save donors from tears
I’ll give them all something special


Just one of the millions of us who kept to the rules: