Accidently just watched Liz Padded Hernia Belt and her leadership bid speech. It looked like it was filmed through her tights on a Nokia and if some eager young SpAD had plonked the instructions to a combi-boiler in front of Truss, she would have given it equal credence.
A curiously and suddenly profound Northernness, peppered with the usual ‘I shall deliver’ bollicles, was in her weird mix. And then there was the seamless hilarity as Kwarteng introduced her without actually introducing her? And her slow, enthralling off-camera walk-up to the podium; and her carefully-practised gaps for applause (came there none).
It was peak Truss.
Matron!
Did I hear her then say she’s from Paisley? Kin ‘ell. Sorry, Scotland.
In whooshed the candidates’ current stuck record on ‘cutting taxes’ after twelve years of Tory mess.
Purleeeeze.
‘I’m not from the traditional Conservative background’ – was a top observation from this ex-Lib Dem Remainer, who campaigned for the abolition of the monarchy. No sh*t you aren’t!
Truss ended up selling Stilton to Japan, before mincing over to Oz and rocking that epic photo opp: Truss cycling on an exercise bike with Sydney Harbour, green-screened behind her, is a source of joy. She then mooted a trade deal on boomerangs. Not even kidding. Surprisingly no returns there.
Back to the speech: please, please say ‘pork market’. Please say it. ‘Pork market!’ SAY IT!
Nothing.
Truss (bizarrely) then says she’d ‘get money back into people’s pockets and help squeeze families.’
Squeeze familes?
What on earth is happening to us?
This woman is completely ridiculous. She tops off her speech by attempting to exit through a wall. Incapable of leaving a room.
Currently the ideal leader, then.
